I did something on Sunday that I haven’t done for a long time. Unless you count last year when I was travelling in Colombia and sought out some cooling fans and enjoyed some Spanish hymns. I went to Mass.

For 11 years, aged 5-16, I was a convent girl. I credit my education with being good at maths and spelling, knowing where apostrophes go, having manners, and enjoying singing and drama. It also contributed to my fear of making mistakes and a slightly unhealthy need to be a good person.

At the age of 10 or 11, I occasionally did readings at church ceremonies and wanted to be a nun. Apparently, Mum called me “her little nun.” 

When I was 13, we moved to Auckland, and I continued to attend Mass of my own volition, but it didn’t take long for that to end. The hellfire and brimstone approach of the mostly Irish Benedictine monks was something I wasn’t used to, and I didn’t like it. So, I left. 

However, it is unsurprising that I ended up becoming a celebrant. I love ritual, coming together around an intention (which is usually a life changing one) and the beauty of presence and contemplation. 

Lately, with national and world events as they are, I have been struggling with the concepts of Faith, Trust and Belief. There is something of a deeper spiritual nature missing for me. What can I wholeheartedly have faith in that grounds me and gives me hope?

“Faith gives you an inner strength and a sense of balance and perspective in life.”
~ Gregory Peck

That is maybe why I was called to attend Mass and I was pleasantly surprised. 

The parish priest (announced as “the celebrant”) had a warm and friendly energy. Born in India, he was relaxed and even included a spontaneous happy birthday and flowers from a vase for a parishioner.

The theme was about care for immigrants and refugees. There were many nationalities present. 

They also prayed for the abusers and abused of the past. As an aside on that subject, according to the website, a Safeguarding Team works “to promote an environment of respect and safety in our parish community.”

There were bags in the foyer to donate groceries. A representative from a local food charity shared that the parish had donated 175,000 meals to local families over the past year. Those in need were encouraged to use the local food banks too.

“Faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe.”
~ Mitch Albom

There were altar girls and there were women handing out communion. I noticed an older lady changed queues to receive it from the priest. Parishioners now have the choice of communion wine as well as bread. When we were kids on  holiday in Russell, we’d favour the local Anglican Church to partake of that!

The music was a bit modern for my liking. And I struggled with some of the wording. But I liked connecting with those around me during the “Peace be with you” exchange.

Afterwards I met someone who is closely related to a friend of mine. That was nice.

So, some things have changed, and some haven’t. The symbolism and ritual remain. 

Among all definitions, faith holds a common theme: trust. Whether we’re putting faith in a person, duty or belief, trust is a necessity.

After attending Mass, what do I have faith in?

Community. Right now, even though there is always a shadow, I believe that people in community are still fundamentally good. That gives me hope.

Will I return? Maybe. 

“You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope.”
~ Thomas Merton

Photo credit: Bruce Harrison