My mantra for over 15 years has been “Freedom through Connection”. Every day I learn more about what it means. It first appeared when I was at a facilitators’ gathering near Tauhara on Lake Taupo and, very out of character, I was overcome by the need to sing a solo of Burt Bacharach’s “What the world needs now is love sweet love!”
Mike Hosking would call me part of the “Kumbaya, open toed sandal brigade”. But I vote nor left or right, nor blue, red or green. In my corporate HR role for a technology consultancy, they called me their hippie HR Manager. I’m an Aquarian. I love purple and yellow; sometimes together. And now I’m embracing grey.
My father had grey hair in his 30’s – thanks for that and the knock knees and pigeon toes, Dad – and now in my 50’s, after 25+ years of pouring poison on my head and into my system, I’m reacquainting myself with my natural hair colour, whatever that is. Peeling away the layers built up over the years, added to conform to society’s expectations; one of which is for women to look young for as long as possible. But I figure if I’m standing for authentic community, and other people being real, then it needs to start with me.
“The colour of truth is grey” ~ Andre Gide, French novelist
I’m apprehensive and excited. At a time when everyone seems to be botoxing and having plastic surgery, I’m also noticing a tide of women moving in the other direction. Maybe we are getting more comfortable using our voices and our wisdom, rather than our looks. I have support in the form of a 26,000+ person Facebook group on the same journey, beautiful women of all ages, so it’s going to be fun and nourishing discovering what my shade of silver looks like. I’m trying to go cold turkey, no highlights, no transition, so it’s not going to be easy. I will need to put my vanity to the side.
I’m interested to see how grey hair will impact my work. As my work these days is largely based on generating connection, I think my authenticity can only be a positive thing, inviting it forth in others.
“Beauty is how you feel inside and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.”
~ Sophia Loren
I’m also curious how it will impact my ability to attract a new man into my life, especially since I tend to enjoy the energy and open-mindedness of younger men. I trust that there are connected men out there with similar values, who will see past the wrapping through to the gift inside. My yellow and purple is more vivid than ever.
“She sees in black and white, thinks in greys but loves in colour” ~ JmStorm
During this time of bullying, fake news and people othering others, maybe it’s time for us all to step into our beautiful, unique selves and just connect from a place of love. And actually Mike, fellow 1965 Aquarian, have you ever sang Kumbaya in a group at the top of your voice? It’s really quite uplifting!
PS: As well as the grey… thanks Dad… for the gift of play, the love of touch, and for always accepting me as I am.
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When deciding to go grey, i remember saying to a friend of mine….’I’m going grey because i want to be authentic’….and she laughed and said..Aileen, you’re first authentic on the inside, the outside wont matter if you’re not on the inside.’ ….and i thought yes! of course…which challenged me to look at my own inner authenticity in a deeper,, ongoing fashion. Looks like you’ve got it the right way round…authentic on the inside and now matching the outside with the inside. The challenge for me continues to be a growing awareness of what authenticity involves…and i rather think its tied up closely with vulnerability!
Key words here i like…. voices and wisdom, ….and….may the peeling of layers continue amidst fun and nourishment, energy and open-mindedness. the greys and winding paths of liminality and the colours of life.
Beautiful Kelly. I’ve been going through the same myself. Tired of the poison and wanting to be congruent to all that we are. Looking forward to seeing how it all plays out! Exciting!! Love that your father gave you so much. Lovely man.